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Most estate planning advice assumes an adult child is standing by, ready to step in. If you don't have kids, or your kids aren't the ones you'd trust with this, the default plan doesn't exist. State law decides who speaks for you, and it's rarely who you'd pick yourself.
That's not a reason to panic. It's a reason to name the people you do trust, in writing, before a hospital or a court has to guess.
Choose your next move
Who would you actually trust with this?
Choose the option closest to your situation right now.
A sibling, niece, nephew, or close friend you'd trust to make decisions and follow through.
Name a Healthcare Proxy Before You Need One
A healthcare proxy — sometimes called a health care agent — makes medical decisions for you if you can't make them yourself. Without one named in writing, doctors and hospitals may have to turn to a state-defined list of relatives, which can mean a distant cousin over the close friend who actually knows what you'd want.
Pick someone who can handle a hard phone call from a doctor and say what you'd actually want, not just someone you love. Then name a backup, in case your first choice is unavailable when it matters.
Checklist
Before you name a healthcare proxy
Get the actual document into their hands, not just a conversation.
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Power of Attorney Isn't Automatic Either
A healthcare proxy and a financial power of attorney are two different documents doing two different jobs. Without a financial power of attorney, no one — not a friend, not a sibling — can legally pay your bills or manage your accounts if you become unable to. A court-appointed guardian can, but that's a slower, more expensive, and more public process than naming someone yourself.
A durable power of attorney stays in effect if you become incapacitated; a standard one may not. Ask specifically for "durable" when you meet with an attorney, and confirm which powers it actually covers.
Checklist
Before you sign a power of attorney
Confirm these instead of assuming them.
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Choosing an Executor Without a Default Heir
An executor settles your estate after you're gone: filing paperwork, paying final bills, distributing what's left according to your will. Without an adult child as the obvious pick, people often default to whoever's closest geographically, which isn't the same as whoever's most reliable with paperwork and follow-through.
Personalize this article
Name who you're actually considering
Naming a real person now makes the rest of this conversation concrete instead of hypothetical.
Ask them directly before you name them in a will. Being an executor is real, sometimes tedious work, and a willing yes matters more than an assumed one.
A Professional Fiduciary or Legal Aid, If You Need a Backup
If {{executorCandidate|the person you named}} isn't available, or you genuinely don't have someone in your personal life for this role, a professional fiduciary or estate attorney can serve as executor, healthcare agent, or financial agent for a fee. It costs more than asking a friend, but it closes the gap instead of leaving it open.
If cost is the barrier, ask your local Area Agency on Aging about legal aid clinics — many offer free or low-cost help with these exact documents.
Once your documents are named, keep them where someone can actually find them — read What Documents Every Retiree Should Organize Now, Before There Is a Crisis. If you're doing this planning after losing a spouse, The First 48 Hours After a Spouse Dies covers the immediate steps separately.
Save your plan
Save who you named and what's left to do so you can follow through.
Common questions
Who makes medical decisions for me if I don't have an adult child?
Without a named healthcare proxy, doctors and hospitals typically turn to a state-defined list of relatives, which may not include the friend or relative you'd actually trust. Name a healthcare proxy and a backup in writing, give them a signed copy of the document, and make sure your doctor's office has it on file, so the decision doesn't default to whoever the state list happens to name.
What's the difference between a healthcare proxy and a power of attorney?
A healthcare proxy makes medical decisions for you if you can't. A financial power of attorney lets someone manage your money and accounts. They're separate documents covering separate jobs, and you need both — ask specifically for a durable power of attorney, since a standard one may not remain valid if you become incapacitated.
Who can be my executor if I don't have children to name?
A trusted sibling, friend, or relative can serve as executor, or you can hire a professional fiduciary or estate attorney if you don't have someone in your personal life for the role. Ask the person directly before naming them in a will — being an executor involves real paperwork and follow-through, and a willing yes matters more than an assumed one.
What if I can't afford an estate attorney?
Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or check Eldercare Locator for legal aid clinics — many offer free or low-cost help preparing healthcare proxies, powers of attorney, and basic wills. Cost shouldn't be the reason these documents stay unwritten.
